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Sweet Dreams Are Made of This
Written (in my undersexed teen years) by Sharon "Tut" LaBorde
Special thanks to Daryn Broussard for the additional dirty mind
The sun glinted brightly on the metal surface of Steelcastle, the Autobots' brand-new installation. It had just been completed three weeks ago, and then a neighboring fortress took shape nearby--Anarchys, home to a handful of outcast Decepticons who, despite their dislike of the Autobots, had nowhere else to go. Many of the Autobots were wary of their neighbors, and the Breakaway Decepticons reciprocated the leeriness. Optimus Prime sensed this as he spoke to Galvatron, the Breakaway Decepticon commander, via computer link.
"Greetings, Galvatron. How are things proceeding over in your new base--how did the name go again?" Optimus tried to be as polite as he could. [He knew their breakup had been painful, and didn't want to dredge up old memories.]
"Anarchys--it's Anarchys!" Galvatron reminded him hotly. "It seems your memory chips need reviving again, Prime! At any rate, [the plants have all died and the dog still misses you.] I have called to tell you that Anarchys is fully completed; my troops and I are holding an induction ceremony at noon today. Since you invited us to that annoying party for your installation, I've decided to return the favor and annoy you for awhile."
"It would seem good form to show up," Optimus said calmly. "I'll come along, and I'm sure Tut will want to come, too." Fifteen year-old Tut was the Autobots' newest friend, but she also found friends among the Breakaway Decepticons as well. [Popular, wasn't she? Like, sure...] She was particularly fond of the outspoken Breakaway named Starscream, and had shared several adventures with him [all of them against his will]. Optimus knew she'd be eager to visit him, and the other Breakaways she'd befriended.
"Tut is the one human I can tolerate. [She likes it hard.] Very well, you and Tut be sure to arrive at noon precisely. Don't disappoint us, Optimus! Galvatron out!"
As the transmission terminated, Hot Rod walked in, curious. "Hey, Optimus, what's going on? I thought I heard Galvatron's voice."
Optimus answered his youthful comrade. "Affirmative. That was Galvatron. He's invited Tut and I to an opening ceremony for their new installation."
"He WHAT? Galvatron INVITED you over there? Why would that miserable outcast Decepticon want to include any of us in something like that? I bet he's jealous of our completing Steelcastle before they finished their base. They shouldn't even be sharing this field with us."
"He probably is rather jealous," Optimus agreed, "[I always got done faster than he did.] But honestly, I'd rather have them here than anywhere else. The Breakaway Decepticons are loose cannons, and this is the best way to keep tabs on them."
"Good point," Hot Rod said at last. "Well, have fun. I wouldn't be caught dead over there."
* * *
Tut's watch read exactly twelve o'clock as she and Optimus stood in Anarchys' imposing audience chamber. Tut was clad in her magnificent black exo-suit, a sleek suit of titanium armor that fit her almost exactly [with openings in all the right places...]. Draped over its broad wings was a black woolen cape. She looked around impatiently, and when the Breakaway Decepticons entered the room, she hopped up excitedly and hovered close by Optimus' side. One of the more striking features of her exo-suit was a set of flight mechanisms in her soles, and with this gift she looked like a shiny black hummingbird in mid-air.
"Hi, Starscream, how's it going?" she demanded eagerly. He turned at the sound of her voice and greeted her.
"Why, Tut, I didn't know you'd be here. [If I'd've known, then I'd be somewhere else right now...] Rather good that you are, though--otherwise, this entire ceremony would be a waste of my time."
"Always glad to liven the party!" she grinned. "Hey, I like the outfit."
Starscream was also wearing a cape, only his was rich lavender-colored silk, and it avoided concealing his sweeping silver wings. He also donned a golden crown with ruby inlays, which gave him an imperious look. It was an exact replica of the garb he wore at his coronation a year ago, the last of his many attempts at power among the Decepticons. His career as a true Decepticon, and his life, had ended during the ceremony. But death is not so permanent a thing for Transformers, and Starscream's return was proof of that. He smiled almost contemptuously as he contemplated that--especially since it was Galvatron who killed him in the first place. [And upon seeing Tut, he wondered if lightning would be kind enough to strike twice...PLEASE...] "Thank you, Tut--you have good taste. Galvatron told us to appear in our finest regalia for the occasion." He grinned as he added, "So he can't complain, because I'm only following orders."
The group came to order as Galvatron entered. Tut and Optimus stood at one side of the room, and the Breakaway Decepticons stood at the other. Galvatron strode up to his imposing throne with a defiant look. He too wore a cape, one of luscious black velvet with a huge ruby clasp. Had he been the only character wearing one, the spectacle would have been more striking.
"This gathering will now come to order!" he boomed. He gazed haughtily at the group assembled before him, and at last he noticed Starscream's outfit. Incensed at the perceived insult, his voice rose to a scream.
"STARSCREAM! How dare you [wear lavender in my presence]?! This is MY ceremony, you traitorous upstart! So, if you value your second existence, you will remove your crown immediately and acknowledge your leader!"
"But, mighty Galvatron," Starscream said in an almost patronizing tone, "you told us to dress for the occasion. I'm only following your orders. [And last night, you LIKED it...] Next time you instruct us, you should be more specific."
Galvatron only grew more furious. He marched down from his lofty throne and fell upon Starscream [which he hadn't done in public for months]. With one hand, he siezed Starscream's throat in a viselike grip and held him several feet in the air at arm's length. [Kinky...]
"I will not repeat myself! Remove your crown, or I will remove it, and the rest of your head with it!"
Tut was greatly concerned for her friend. She literally flew over to Galvatron, nearly shrieking.
"Galvatron, let him go! Who cares about his outfit? Gimme a break, it's not going to threaten you any if he wears his old crown!"
"How do you know he'll stop here? [He was only supposed to wear that for me!] If I let this traitor have any leeway, I might as well let him take command of Anarchys!"
"Okay, you have a point, but you don't have to kill him over it--again!" Tut was as adament about her point as Galvatron was over his. He scowled a moment, then released Starscream with disgust. ["Bitch..."] He dropped hard onto the floor, and lay where he landed, very much in shock.
"Very well," Galvatron relented, "his life is spared. However, he is banished from Anarchys. Take your belongings and go, Starscream."
He motioned with a sweep of his arm as Tut helped Starscream to his feet. She followed her friend as he slowly trudged out of the room. As soon as they had disappeared down the hall, Galvatron continued with his speech [and stared lovingly at Cyclonus; now it was just the two of them...] Optimus remained silent throughout, [feeling dejected that he had been replaced so quickly,] and as soon as Galvatron's oration was over, he slipped silently out of the meeting to help Tut and Starscream move the latter's belongings out of Anarchys.
* * *
An hour later, Tut set the last of her companion's possessions down in her room. Starscream's valuables were few in number: a small horde of energon cubes, sustenance of all Transformers; a large, sealed urn whose contents Tut could only guess at, and a lavishly decorated cushion on which he sat, his head buried in his arms. Tut approached him cautiously and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you okay, Starscream?" He made no response [while praying for death]. "It's okay, Star, you're in my room now. It's okay."
She rubbed his shoulder reassuringly. Starscream bravely lifted his head, exposing the tears of lubricant than ran down his slate-grey face. [He'd've rather had Trypticon sit on him than have to live here with--HER...]
"God, I hate Galvatron! I hate him with every ounce of my being! He will never humiliate me again, I swear it!"
"Yes, I think he was overly severe with you. [No shit, Sherlock...!] But look on the bright side; now you can hang out with me in Steelcastle."
"[Joy...] No, Tut. I'm not an Autobot, and I won't associate with Autobots. [And I don't 'hang out'. "]
"Come on, give 'em a break. Hot Rod's pretty cool; at least you and he could get along. And Optimus is the greatest guy in the world--next to you, of course."
"I don't think so, Tut. I plan on returning to Megatron and the true Decepticons--I would have rejoined them sooner, but Galvatron always stood in my way! I don't understand why the fool wanted to keep me there in the first place! [I kept telling him I didn't like it THAT rough!] Well, he's just renounced his control over me, and so I shall have my chance to wreak revenge!"
"Much as I disagree with that, I can't keep you here," Tut said with a sigh of resignation. "I'll present my argument for why you should stay, but in the end, I know I can't keep you here [without handcuffs]."
"All right then; state your case."
[To Starscream's horror, trendy music started playing as his human cohort began a striptease---and then, thankfully, he woke up.]
"Okay. Well, first there's the obvious; Steelcastle is the safest place place for you to stay, and you'll be here with me. But from what I've heard about you and Megatron, I think there are other reasons as well."
"What do you mean, what you've heard about me?"
"Well, it seems nothing pleases some Autobots more than telling me all about your past attempts at power under Megatron, the infamous Decepticon commander. And while at first it seems to be just ambition, foolhardiness and little else, I think there's more to your relationship with him than just that."
[Starscream insists, "It was my turn to be on top, he said so!"]
"Personally, I think that you're codependent to Megatron."
["I am not!"]
"He's this powerful guy who always seems to be in control--"
["Yes!"]
"--except when the Autobots kick his butt, of course. You want so much to be like that, to have his power and not be afraid, and that's why you'd pull off those crazy grabs at power."
["But power turns me on..."]
"He'd get miffed and quell your little insurrections--"
["And spank me..."]
"But he'd never kill you because he knows that eventually you'll be back under his control."
["And spank me, too!"]
"That, of course, is the difference between him and Galvatron. See? It's a vicious cycle; Megatron's been treating you too good lately, and you're not feeling so hot about yourself. So you try to overthrow him as leader. He royally trashes you--"
["Oh, yes, tell me more! MORE!"]
"--and whoever your accomplices are, you're happily abused, and everything's hunky-dory again. I've seen this before, Starscream; I've been in a situation where I've had to return to an abusive environment, and I hated every second of it. [And that's why I gave up the dominatrix gig.]"
"Really? So that's why you have little contact with your human family. [I thought the nose ring had more to do with it.] However, I dislike your drawing a parallel between your human kin and Megatron."
"The victim of abuse defending his abuser," Tut said exhasperatedly, burying her head in her hands for a moment.
[Starscream mumbles, "Next week, she'll be discussing her book, Decepticons are from Cybertron, Women are from Earth."]
"Don't you see, Starscream, if you go back to Megatron, you'll start the whole freaking cycle, all over again! I've been there before, and I knew what it was, and that's the last thing I want to see happen to you. Don't do it! Stay here with me, where you are free, and you won't be trapped in this cycle anymore." Tut was practically begging him, clutching his hand to her chest [and praying that he would take her at that instant]. The expression on her face was plaintive, and Starscream found it hard to remain unmoved.
"You have made an interesting argument," he said matter-of-factly, "but you have not convinced me. I'm leaving these possessions in your care. Give the others my regards."
"Oh, Starscream," she whispered sadly as she hugged his neck, "if you see me on the battlefield, please don't forget that I'm always your friend."
"I won't forget you. You're the only friend I've had in a long time. [And the only human who's ever tried to rape me.] Goodbye, Tut."
"Goodbye, Starscream," she said. She started to kiss his cool, metal cheek, but he put a finger to her lips.
"No thank you, Tut. [Touch me with those again and I'll kill you...] Save such affectionate gestures for the Autobots."
He set her on his plush cushion as he stood. At roughly fifteen or twenty feet tall, he dwarfed five-foot Tut, who sat on the pillow with a woebegone expression. Starscream gave her a final, silent look, [pointed and said, "Now, stay! Good girl,"] then turned and left.
A few minutes later Hot Rod entered her room. "Hey, Tut," he asked, "where's Starscream going? Did he tell you?"
With a deep sigh, Tut answered. "He's gone back to the true Decepticons. He's gone back to Megatron."
"He did WHAT?! \i [The fag!]\i0 And you just let him go?! Tut, you just let him rejoin our greatest enemies! [Worse than that, he still owes me money!"]
"What was I supposed to do? Hold my best friend hostage in my own room?" Tut barely moved as she sat on the cushion.\par \tab\i
["Well, what do you call that time you dressed in black vinyl, got out a bullwhip and tried to tie Starscream up--"
"Hot Rod, you weren't supposed to know about that!"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry.] Tut, I've seen you stand up to Megatron, who could easily smush you into mush, and tell him what for! [And what the hell did I just say?"]
Tut stood up indignantly. "Starscream is my friend; I respect his choices, however foolish or stupid they may be. It would be unfair to keep him here against his will [unless I got off on it]. If I did that, I'd be no better than Galvatron. Even though I like Galvatron, I will not put myself on his level and keep someone else a prisoner [unless they were really cute and I thought I could have my way with them."]
"Very wisely said," Optimus commented as he walked in. "It takes real courage to say that. I understand Hot Rod's anxiety; [he hasn't been laid in months.] Starscream's actions will doubtless cause problems for us. However, it would be more of a problem to keep him here as a prisoner of war."
"So what are we supposed to do, Optimus? Just continue like everything's fine?" Hot Rod demanded.
"Right now, that's all we can do. [Although some flowers and a box of chocolates might help.] Our comrades on Cybertron are having difficulties with some equipment. Can I send you two to help them with it?"
"Sure, Optimus." Tut perked up.
["Yeah, she's great with her equipment."]
"Come on, Hot Rod, let's get ready."
"I'm way ahead of you, Tut. [I know you had Mexican for dinner."] Hot Rod's mood also improved. The two left the room eagerly, and Optimus followed them at length.
* * *
Deep in a little-traversed sector of space, [identical to the other sixty zillion in the universe,] Starscream set course for a dreary-looking planet in his F-15 mode. The atmosphere was thin, so he experienced little friction [and he liked friction,] as he approached for a landing. Transforming back to his robot mode, he surveyed the vast array of steel spires and battlements before him.
"So this is Charr, eh? Megatron sure has cleaned the place up. Still, it's not nearly as impressive as the skyscapes on our home planet--nothing can top Cybertron, and I know that Megatron knows this as well. Some security! Not even a single sentry out to apprehend me! I suppose I'll have to call them out myself." Starscream braced himself, [grabbed his ankles,] then let out the loudest scream he could utter.
"MEGATRON!!!"
He soon got results. A dozen heavily-armed Decepticon commandos rushed outside, with Megatron at the fore. He spied Starscream, first with a look of shock, then a sinister smile.
"Well, what have we here? [Unh!] Has it taken you this long to decide your true allegiance?"
"It has been too long," Starscream said with satisfaction. "Galvatron has stood in my way long enough! Now it is time to put him in his place!"
"Well said!" Megatron smiled. "You are welcome back into our ranks, and you will have your old position as our aerospace commander. And you shall have all the revenge that you desire!"
Despite looks of confusion and surprise from his troops, [especially once they realized those rumors were true,] Megatron put a hand on Starscream's shoulder and led him into the building behind them. All but the wisest of Autobots would never have believed their optic sensors had they seen Megatron's actions just then. Not even his Decepticon followers could understand; how could Megatron, the strongest and cruelest Decepticon that ever lived, warmly accept an old comrade with a legendary record of treachery such as Starscream's? All the other Decepticons wanted to know why, but none of them dared to ask.
* * *
Tut and Hot Rod had been working on Cybertron for some time. They had checked, repaired and then re-checked several connections with Steelcastle that had been uncooperative. To check if their efforts had been successful, Hot Rod tried transmitting to Steelcastle's main computer. Tut floated impatiently behind him.
"Now, let's see if this works. I hope so, 'cause I don't want to hassle with that stupid satellite dish again!"
"And if it works, we'll see Optimus come onscreen any second now." Tut did a backwards roll in mid-air as she waited for the connection to go through.
"I see you fixed the transmitting equipment." With these words, a crisp image of Optimus Prime appeared onscreen, and the Autobots standing behind Hot Rod cheered.
"Kid, you're one in a trillion! [Now we've got 800 channels, American Triple EXXXstacy and pirate tv, woohoo!"] Springer, his powerful and witty comrade, put a stout arm over Hot Rod's shoulders and smiled.
"I helped out, too!" Tut protested.
"Sorry, Tut-- [your chest isn't developed enough for me to stare at--and] you're so short, we don't always notice you." Springer patted her on the head, and she grinned sheepishly. ["Now, it's guy time. Out."]
"Hey, guys, mind if I go and roam around awhile?" she queried innocently.
"Aren't you afraid you'll get lost? Cybertron is a big planet, you know." Ultra Magnus, the orderly and serious Autobot second-in-command, grew concerned.
"Are you kidding? [She knows everybody on the planet--personally...] Tell Magnus here about your adventures in the old Decepticon territory!" Hot Rod grinned as he nudged Magnus in the side.
"Okay, I stand corrected," he relented. "Have fun. But be sure to radio us if you get into any kind of trouble--and take your weapons with you."
"Take care of yourself, Tut. [And don't forget your condoms.]" Optimus warned her gently from onscreen.
"Thanks, guys. I'll see ya later!" Tut smiled goodbye and left eagerly.
* * *
Megatron had just finished showing Starscream some of the extensive fortifications [and fornications] on Charr. Though impressed, Starscream retained a cynical edge that Megatron had an eon's worth of experience with.
"These battlements are remarkable, great Megatron, but what good will they do us? [They don't even vibrate!] We are exiled from our own planet, and we have no more bases on Earth, either! We need to wipe out those miserable Breakaways and take over their resources--they have a new fort right next to the Autobots, for Cybertron's sake! Then we can actually make progress [and vibrate!"]
"You wouldn't know progress if it hit you in the face. [>slap< "Bitch!"] Megatron had a calm, superior air. "If the fool only knew the full extent of our constructions, our expansion to other dead planets besides Charr," he mused. "Should I tell him? No, don't. He'll be more useful to us if we don't."
"Not true, Megatron! I can see progress, and I can also see regression! [You've shrunk with age!] Just one year ago, we Decepticons dominated Cybertron--the Autobots were all but defeated! If my coronation hadn't been interrupted, then I would have led the Decepticons [after the orgy] to final victory! You were beaten and near death, thanks to Optimus Prime! In fact, [with his firm grip and subtle technique,] you should have died!"
Megatron could keep his cool no longer. With a threatening glare, he leveled his massive black arm-mounted fusion cannon directly at Starscream.
"Beware of your tone, Starscream. [It makes me horny.] If my brother Galvatron can kill you, then I most certainly can!" [>wink!<]
"I conquered death once, Megatron--you merely cheated it! Besides, as a spirit I have powers [and positions] unimaginable! Go ahead and fire! [I've had bigger!] One way or another, I will have my revenge on Galvatron, and if necessary, on you too!"
"Oh, you pathetic idiot! [I love to dominate..."] Megatron thought with an evil smile. "You're worth all the more to me alive. It is only a matter of time before you'll be kneeling before me in repentance! [Ohhhh, yes!"]
With this unspoken thought, Megatron fired on Starscream. The blast was not full strength, however; Starscream was knocked back several feet, but he was unharmed. Stunned, he got to his feet and sneered.
"You've grown soft, Megatron [--again!] I don't need an Autobot's help to depose you this time!"
He opened fire on Megatron with his own arm-mounted weapon. Megatron nimbly dodged the shot, returning fire. This blast hit the ceiling, causing metal debris to fall on Starscream. The shaken combatant quickly picked himself up and, noticing the exposed night sky, escaped through the gaping hole in the ceiling.
"No one controls my destiny, haha! Not even you, Megatron!"
"I know exactly what you're doing, audacious one, and I control the outcome of this struggle more than you can ever know!" Did Megatron think this, or did he cry out those words as he took off in hot pursuit of Starscream? The haughty turncoat had transformed to jet mode and streaked across the heavens, with his leader never far behind. [How they loved to chase each other.] Miles came upon miles as the two left Charr far in the distance. Slowly, steadily, Starscream headed for Cybertron, and Megatron followed him undauntedly. [Soon they would be alone, without prying eyes...] At last the jet reached the planet's surface and transformed.
"Megatron forgets, I am the fastest of the Decepticons! He can never catch me!" Starscream said proudly, unaware that his opponent had landed directly behind him.
"Your gift of speed is overshadowed by your gift of stupidity, Starscream."
Starscream wheeled around with a loud gasp. "Megatron! How did you-- [unh!] I, I outran you-- [oh!] how can-- [ohh!']"
"You will never be stronger or smarter than me, Starscream. [>smack<] Try as hard as you want, but you never will!" Megatron fired on him again, but this time the impact was more powerful, and the edge of Starscream's right wing was damaged. He returned fire frantically, but his null ray did precious little good [against such a massive WEAPON...] Megatron continued his assault almost zestfully, firing his fusion cannon in rapid succession. Starscream was hard pressed to dodge blasts that left larger and larger craters where they struck the metal surface of Cybertron. He soon began to tire, and before long he was singed and wounded in numerous places. Megatron showed no signs of fading, and continued the brutal attack. He was determined to bring Starscream into submission, no matter how long it took, no matter how much damage Starscream incurred. Megatron would not lose.
* * *
Tut stood in the center of a pavilion deep in old Decepticon country. Starscream had taken her there once before, and she remembered his story quite clearly. His coronation had taken place there--or at least, the first five minutes of it. A full year later, the burn marks still remained on the spot where he had stood. Starscream had difficulty recounting Galvatron's arrival upon the scene, but she had a strong guess as to how her friend's finest hour became his last. [He kept mentioning that Galvatron had screwed him that day...]
"For that lifetime, at least. That's so neat--Transformers can actually have several lifetimes," Tut mused quietly to herself as she stared out across the vast hall that speard out before her. [Maybe her cat really could have nine lives.] But her thoughts turned to a more sorrowful note. "It's such a tragedy that Starscream's second lifetime has improved so little from his first, instead of getting a little better, like in Buddhist reincarnation or something. [Why couldn't he have been human--and straight...?] Will he ever figure it out? God only knows."
She gazed downward sadly, but then looked up with a start. Was that a voice she heard? She strained to listen. [Then she remembered to take her headphones off.] Yes, that is a voice! Listening further, she heard sounds of battle. The voice was more distinctive--was that Starscream? A million different scenarios raced through Tut's head as she flew up to the high wall that bordered the Great Hall. She scanned the horizon anxiously, and with shock she saw Starscream in the middle of a horrific firefight with Megatron. She watched the spectacle with morbid fascination [wishing she could be at the throbbing end of one of those attacks...].
"Megatron can't want to kill him, or he'd've done it by now," Tut said to herself. She paused a moment, then realized something that shook her to the core of her being. [Starscream might actually be tired enough to take advantage of--GREAT!!!]. "It's that cycle I told him about. [And I'm at the end of mine!] Of course Megs won't kill him. Instead, he's giving him a terrific beating. [Galvatron said he loved those...] Starscream's fighting back right now, but sooner or later he'll give up, his spirit broken." [Terrified, she realized there may be nothing left for her.]
Rallied by her anger, Tut flew straight toward the melee. Megatron turned with surprise to see her land before him and Starscream, drawing her titanium sword defiantly.
"This does not concern you, small human! Leave us now, or I will give you a good reason to!"
"[Oh, stop it you tease!] It concerns me whenever I see my friend in the same position I was once in. [I hate to be left out.]" A look of hatred began to spread across her face. She squeezed the handle of her katana and glared at Megatron, who shared the animosity.
"The choice is yours, Tut! I have given you fair warning!"
Megatron unleashed the full force of his fusion cannon at her, but she leaped away. [She knew that was bigger than she could handle...!] She dropped her sword and drew her compound bow off its clip on her back. After dodging another cannon blast, she drew an explosive arrow and returned fire. It struck her foe square in the chest, leaving a scorch mark.
"You are the most audacious [and easiest] human I have ever encountered! Your foolhardiness matches even Starscream's!"
"I resent that, Megatron!" Starscream cried out from several yards away. He fired at Megatron, scoring only light damage. Megatron was about to answer the attack when he was struck in the arm with another arrow [and realized he liked it]. This time it was a steel broadhead, and it lodged deep. [Ohhh, it felt so good...] Megatron tried to pull it free, only to receive another one in his shoulder. Infuriated [that she had run out], he aimed his cannon at Tut with a snarl. She made no attempt to dodge; she simply stood firm, conjuring the most hateful sneer she could imagine.
"Time to swallow your pride, Megatron--"
["And that's not all!" Starscream yelped, his WEAPON ready to explode...]
"--do whatever you want, but you will never have the satisfaction of seeing me give in [to less than three at a time]."
"You are my enemy and my inferior, but your resolve is to be admired," he grinned. "Today you may stand defiant, but one day, I shall win."
The instant he finished speaking, Megatron departed. As he disappeared into the inky black sky, Tut hissed after him.
"So long as I can stand and fight, that day will never come! [But I will!]"
She then turned to Starscream. He was weakened by the long struggle, and sat exhaustedly on the ground. Anxiously, she ran to his side [hoping that her opportunity had finally come].
"Are you okay, Starscream?"
"Why did you intervene, Tut?" Starscream lay down with frustration and exhaustion. "You promised that you wouldn't."
"I know, Starscream, I just--I, I couldn't bear to see you get that kind of punishment. If I turned my back on you, then I would never be able to live with myself."
"Why do you care so much about me? Autobots deserve that kind of compassion [and disease]; a miserable traitor like me doesn't. You have this strength that I don't. I can't do the things that you do. [I just can't handle threesomes.]"
"You have strength of your own. [You like it rough.] The fact that you're alive right now is proof."
"Then why do you come to my rescue so often? [Death was so much more...peaceful...] I still don't understand why you do these things for a Decepticon. I should be [--WANT to be--] your enemy, for Cybertron's sake!"
"You're not, and you never will be. You're my friend, and I love you. And I always will."
["Why me...?!?!] I can never thank you [or step on you] for the things that you do for me."
"Sure you can," Tut smiled as she hopped onto his chest and peered into his face.
["No I can't!!!"]
"Affectionate gestures aren't just for the Autobots, you know."
["Okay, I'll buy you a vibrator, but that's my final offer!"]
She leaned close and kissed him. Starscream offered no resistance, partly because he was too tired to, but more because [he hoped it would electrocute her quickly, so] he felt no desire to. After a moment, Tut hopped off his chest and helped him to his feet. [So much for that idea...]
"Come on, Starscream," she said quietly, "let's go home."
[Starscream submitted, thinking to himself, "Well, there's always Optimus..."]
The End (Thank God!)
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