TFsmut

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If you talk with other Transfans long enough, or if you read Transformer fanfiction often enough, sooner or later you'll encounter it: X-rated fanfics, a.k.a. TF smut. But wait--Transformers are robots! They don't have sex, right? So how can you have Transformer porn? Recently several friends and fellow Transfans have asked me those exact same questions. I can understand their legitimate confusion, but at the same time I can also admit to having dabbled in risque fanfiction myself. So if you're curious as to the how's, why's, and wherefore's of Transformer smut, hopefully this will prove...enlightening.

First, a little background for the uninitiated:

Elita-One, one of the first major female characters from the G1 cartoon

"More Than Meets the Eye"--or, Sex and TF canon

Of course, the G1 Transformer cartoon was a kid's show; that automatically negated any references to sex. However, the cartoon did establish the existence of female Autobots beginning with the episode "Search for Alpha-Trion", and even openly suggested that they had exclusive relationships with male Autobot counterparts--the most notable couple being Elita-One and Optimus Prime. In fact, they share a scene that most adult or even adolescent fans find incredibly suggestive, however innocent its intentions may have been: Optimus actually opens a panel in his midsection and hooks up a set of his own power cables with corresponding plug-ins on an unconscious Elita-One. The act was meant to be the equivalent of a blood transfusion, but since when has that stopped older fans from 'getting ideas'...?

Transformers: the Movie introduced Arcee, who afterward became a series regular. However, the American G1 cartoon never introduced female Decepticons. The Decepticons did boost a female ninja robot in "Enter the Nightbird", but she was neither given a Decepticon insignia, an appearance in subsequent episodes, or any dialogue from major characters that clearly referred to her as an official faction member--all essential story elements needed to establish her as anything more than a plot device.

This does not preclude female Decepticons from fanfiction, however. In fact, the population of fan-created characters is rich with them, as we will explore later.

The American G1 comic never featured female Transformers. Despite numerous requests and questions in the letter column, the official response (paraphrased here) was "unless we draw a character to look overtly female [which they didn't], there are none". Arcee appeared briefly in the UK comic, however.

Arcee also appeared in the Japanese Headmasters series--no jokes, please! The Masterforce series introduced a new female Autobot (or Femmebot, as they're unofficially known), Minerva. Finally, the Victory series actually introduced female Destrons, the Japanese name for Decepticons. Two of them named Lyzak and Esmera can be seen introducing their family in a translated manga. That makes them the first, and really the only, official G1 female Decepticons.
Special thanks to Doug Dlin and ShadowWing for their input. Click the link to see their translated manga!

Blackarachnia, femme fatale of Beast Wars

Beast Wars, however, is another matter. The Maximals had their own female, Airrazor, who hooked up with Tigatron. Since this was still a cartoon, their relationship was portrayed more as being platonic; but, in one of the series' several "awww..." moments, the two reach out and hold hands before finally being devoured by an alien plant. (No lie.) Oddly enough, a season later they come back as a joint character called Tigerhawk, who is supposed to be comprised of their combined essences. Evidently staff writers for TF series can go to some pretty strange lengths to avoid having two characters actually create a "child"...

Then there's BlackArachnia. Significantly, she was originally built as a Maximal, but was activated by Predacons. This recurring "good girl/bad girl" theme proved to be cliche'd in some moments, intriguing in others--especially when she became smitten for the ultimate boy scout, Silverbolt. This pairing yields the riskiest moments anywhere in the annals of TF canon. They actually kiss. They put their arms around each other. And Rattrap blatantly suggests that they do a lot more with the infamous line, "Find any new...positions?" This could be the best argument anywhere for the existence of Transformer sex, not to mention plenty of fodder for stupid jokes about 'doggie style'.

Silverbolt and BlackArachnia's relationship continued in Beast Machines, but for brevity's sake it's best to skip over most of this series. While the second season did introduce two new femmes, Botanica (a Maximal) and Stryka (a Vehicon), considering the sometimes vitriolic fan reactions to Beast Machines, those two probably won't be appearing in smut fiction anytime soon. Robots in Disguise swings all the way back to the other end of the spectrum with no females of any faction, only a lovesick potential stalker with a fixation for red sportscars, Sideburn. Who knows what might happen if he ever caught an old episode of Magnum, P.I.....?!

This is by no means an all-inclusive reference for Transformers canon, and further suggestions and information are always welcome. Thus concludes the "official" chapter on TF smut.

Every hero has a softer side...

But--But, How....?

Okay, we've explained where sex has been suggested and hinted at in the original sources, but that still leaves a much (ahem) bigger question: HOW do Transformers have sex? If there are male and female Transformers that have relationships, we can more or less assume they're capable of consummating those relationships somehow. The best part of all is, because they're robots, it's generally accepted among fans that they do not reproduce sexually. You want another Transformer, just build one. So how do they get to the 'fun stuff'?

While the most logical answer would involve something mechanical and not penetrative--again, not unlike Optimus Prime and Elita-One sharing some sort of hookup that can transfer energy, sensation, thoughts or whatever--the bulk of TF smut does NOT work that way. Instead, the characters are heavily anthropomorphosized (meaning that they're given human attributes, just in case that stumped anyone). Naturally, one reason for this is the impact of descriptions; imagine, for example, if you tried to write something we might presume is "anatomically correct" for a Transformer:

Optimus could stand it no longer. His fingers trembled as Elita opened her center
panel, exposing her data input ports. Their excitement mounting, he made the final
connection, and the energy flowed between them... .......................................................

Sound silly? Now, compare that with the following excerpt from a smut story by Phantom about the same couple:

Never had his beloved looked more beautiful to him, optics half-closed in desire, lips parted, metallic skin covered in a fine sheet of coolant....She sensed the movement of his hips above her, then cried out against his mouth as his unit slowly began to slowly penetrate her open, yielding core. Her head tilted back as she gave in to a long, deep-throated moan....

And believe it or not, that represents some of the tamer stuff.

If you're sharp, you'll notice that Phantom descibes Optimus as having a mouth (among other things) and being able to kiss Elita, even though the cartoon always showed him with a face mask. This is because the basic assumption of most smut fiction is that Transformers can remove paneling to expose 'hidden' body parts. In fact, in the realm of Beast Wars canon, this is even suggested by Rattrap's thinly-veiled account of a topless bar on Cybertron! Of course, anthropomorphic characters have existed since the beginning of civilization on this planet. A good visual example would be Egyptian deities; a jackal can't exactly be pictured wrapping a mummy or weighing a person's heart, so the jackal god Anubis was pictured carrying out those functions with a jackal's head but a human body. Likewise, Autobots and Decepticons are also borne of human imagination, (philosophical discussions aside,) so from that standpoint well-endowed Transformers come from a long cultural tradition.

The Door Swings Both Ways

You wouldn't believe some of the things they're having us do
in these blasted things...Half of them have me being gay!
--Starscream, "On Strike"

Where you have sex, and you have fanfiction, you're bound to have homosexual fanfiction. While there's certainly nothing wrong with this, as it's no more or less normal an outlet than any other form of smut fiction, it has produced a curious phenomenon within the Transformers genre. Skim through enough and you'll notice much more male-male than female-female pairings. (Well, maybe not so unusual; check out the anime fan smut, or hentai, involving Gundam Wing for example...) You may also notice that some of the more popular characters have perhaps equally as many homosexual as heterosexual fictions devoted to them; a good case in point would be Starscream. Many male and some female fanfiction writers pair him with Megatron. Still other female fanfic writers pair him with--you guessed it, female Decepticon characters of their own creation. Why? From the p.o.v. of fans writing heterosexual fanfics (and speaking from personal experience), it just boils down to a matter of attraction and can't really being explained beyond that without getting personal.

From the viewpoint of homosexual pairings with Megatron, however, fanfic authors will cite everything from the seemingly abusive, dominant-submissive nature of Megatron and Starscream's interactions in the cartoon; Starscream's voice (which, if you've never heard it, is rather sharp and high-keyed, much like Cobra Commander's because they had the same voice actor); or even the fact that Starscream had a female voice actress in French dubs of the cartoon recorded overseas. While acknowledging the existence of sex among Transformers by default allows for the existence of homosexual relationships, not all fans agree on whether or not characters such as Starscream and Megatron are in fact gay.

Okay....so now what?

So now we've covered the elements from the actual show that have inspired writers of adult-themed TF fiction, how the characters actually 'do the deed' and whom they might do it with. That leaves only one question, but it happens to be the most compelling of all: why would someone decide to write adult-oriented fanfiction in the first place? Funny thing is, there are as many answers as there are smut stories to be read. I can provide a response from my own perspective, but if you want another, you'll have to find other fanfic authors online and ask them.

When You Need an Outlet (and the wall doesn't have any...)

I first started writing TF fanfiction when I was fifteen. I started out with some legitimate story ideas, some of which I've kept to this day. But I was a teenager. A teenager with a few friends, but no boyfriend. Those adolescent hormones can make you get pretty inventive, and hey, I write for a hobby...(!) Granted, my attempts at suggestive storytelling are pretty low-key compared to what you might find in a smut-devoted story archive; but in retrospect, I've noticed a progressive pattern in my writing. See if you can spot it in the excerpts below...

Excerpt #1
This first bit was written in March 1994, when I was sixteen. The characters: Starscream and Tut, basically my human (ahem) 'self-insertion' character. The situation: Tut has just defied several laws of physics and saved Starscream's bacon. The result...

"Then why do you come to my rescue so often? I still don't understand why you do these things for a Decepticon. I should be your enemy, for Cybertron's sake!"

"You're not, and you never will be. You're my friend, and I love you. And I always will."

"I can never thank you for the things that you do for me."

"Sure you can," Tut smiled as she hopped onto his chest and peered into his face. "Affectionate gestures aren't just for the Autobots, you know."

Hesitantly, she leaned close and kissed him. Starscream offered no resistance, partly because he was too tired to, but more because he felt no desire to. After a moment, Tut hopped off his chest and helped him to his feet.

"Come on, Starscream," she said quietly, "let's go home."

Excerpt #2--
Skip ahead to around September 1994. I'm seventeen. These are still the same characters, but much different results...

Starscream's face twisted into a deep frown of frustration. "Listen, Tut, don't you see what I'm trying to tell you? Don't you get it?"

"No; I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say."

"Figures; you're better at saying stuff like this than I am." Grasping her by the arms, he pulled her close to his red and silver body, then slid his hands underneath her slender jaw. His thoughts were laden with hesitation as he tilted her face up toward his own. "Oh, God, is this really what I want to do? Ah, what the hell. Why not."

Still a little hesitant, he leaned close and kissed her. To be sure, Tut had kissed him on a number of occasions, and he had tolerated most of them; but as it was never his cup of tea (or energon, as it were),
he never seriously considered returning the gesture. But this time was different; it was the only way he could think of to express an emotion he had never been very familiar or even comfortable with. He found it an odd sensation to feel a warm, wet tongue instead of another cool, soft metal one like his own; but at the same time, he didn't find it particularly unpleasant, either. After a moment that seemed to stretch into eternity, he drew his mouth away from hers, and held her head to his chest while he stroked her short brown hair and whispered.

"I really do love you, Tut; I really do. I just have a hard time showing it the way you probably want me to. Even though it has caused me much grief, and probably will continue to, I love you just the same."

"I love you too, Starscream. Even when it hurts me to do so, I love you anyway."

The harsh words they had exchanged only a few minutes earlier became a distant memory as they lay quite contentedly in one another's arms.

Excerpt #3
And now to the first half of 1995. I'm almost eighteen, about to graduate high school. For this story my character has graduated to female Decepticon status. Take it from there...

Starscream turned and eyed her suspiciously, though he had to fight back a wry smile. "Care to tell me what you're planning to do?"

"Oh, come on, I'm just gonna give you a back rub. Unless you want to have your back hurt all day.

"Well, if you insist." Starscream leaned forward with an amused expression. Tut clapped her hands together and rubbed them vigorously, then reached down and slid them slowly over Starscream's back, lightly at first, then more and more firmly. She followed the smooth, silvery contours of metal up to his shoulders, briefly massaging the base of his air intakes, then started downward again. The friction made her hands warm, and she could feel her companion relax a little bit more with each stroke. As she continued, he let out a sigh of contentment, and Tut half-expected him to slump over, too mellow to sit up straight.

As misfortune would have it, just as Starscream vocalized his enjoyment a second time, Megatron entered the room.

We'll let Megatron hit the 'fast-forward' button--still the same story, though...

Starscream was deeply absorbed into a kiss when the door chime sounded loudly. Seriously irritated at the interruption, he pulled his mouth away from Tut's and snarled.

"Goddammit! Who in the hell could want us now?!"

His broad, sweeping wings almost hid Tut from view as she lay underneath him on the recharge bed. She peered around his arm at the door, aggravated. "Really! We've done our time for today!"

"Let's ignore them and see if they go away."

Close to the end, but still the same story...

Starscream found it awkward suddenly playing the role of comforter, but he tried his best to soothe her. "You're here with me now, Tut." He stroked her face, then rubbed his red and silver body against hers. "It's over."

Skip a little dialogue, that's not what we write stuff like this for anyway...

Starscream got up for a moment and turned off the lights. He said nothing as he finally settled close to her again, and her curiosity soared. "Come on, what's it all about?"

His lips were almost at hers when he finally whispered, "More than you will ever know, Tut. More than you will ever know."

The end. Good thing, too...

Excerpt #4
This final story was written in late July 1995 while I was stuck home for the summer. Same characters. Let me simply say that isolation can have evil effects on fanfiction...

She met his kiss eagerly, all the while caressing the underside of his jaw and his smooth steel neck. His lips turned their attention to her chin, then her soft, pale throat, following the downward curve of her neck...

Skip the rest of the plot, not like it's important anyway...

She paused a moment to comprehend the invitation, then replied by slipping her arms around his air intakes and kissing the corner of his mouth. Starscream kissed her in return, and as he did so Tut's hands slid down from his shoulders, across his chest and around his waist, caressing the silver band of metal they found there. He turned his attention to the exposed white of her neck, then started to sink to his knees, pulling Tut with him. Upon kneeling, she leaned back, and Starscream followed her to the floor...

Believe it or not, it leaves off there. We can figure out what happened after that...

That was the last of my stories to contain somewhat illicit content. Granted, you can find much racier stuff on a dedicated smut page, but these excerpts serve to illustrate a pattern of progressively more and more brazen descriptions; it's almost as though writing adult-themed fanfiction was like having a boyfriend for the first time, and the experimentation got progressively more hard-core. It's interesting, and fairly significant, to note that suggestive interludes disappeared from my fanfiction after I got to college and started dating--although my fiance' and I have since begun spoofing some of these older works just for the fun of it. See, there are plenty of uses for smut fiction after all...